My leg hurts like hell now. No thanks to the few people who made me walk up and down East Coast Beach four times. Nonetheless, the outing was fun, private and very enjoyable.

10.30am: Was supposed to meet Fiona at but due to some unforeseen circumstances, I postponed it to 11.
11.00am: Supposed to meet Fiona, but because of my idiotic self, I had to search for my misplaced entry proof, without which will cause me to be unable to take my exams. Luckily, my back-up is with Shujun, if not I think I would just jump down the top of some 20-storey building. This search cost me precious time.
12.00pm: Finally reach Paya Lebar MRT station and meet Fiona. She used my line of "I'm going to grow moss liao".
12.10pm: Reached the bus-stop where we are supposed to take the bus to Parkway Parade.
12.--pm: We reached Parkway Parade and started our little search for food. Saw Tanjong Katong Girls on the way, but don't think Hannah even has school.
12.--pm: Finally decided on Mos Burger even though we faltered at the thought of Ajisen Ramen but the price is abit out of range. It's like $10 for a bowl of ramen, God, although I was the one who was tempted. Saw this notice above Fiona's seat in Mos Burger.(pictures will be added at a later date.)
13.--pm: Food glorious food. Somehow, her intended clam chowder switched places with the corn soup. Up till now, I still can't believe that my iced peach tea was much more sour than her iced lemon tea. Perhaps the lemon was added into my peach tea, which resulted in the catastrophic reault of sour peach tea and sweet lemon tea.
13.--pm: Walked to East Coast Beach. Wanted to buy slippers but didn't. Two pairs did caught my eye, literally, as they were all glittery and shiny.
14.--pm: Just simply started to walk on the pathway because we didn't know what to do. Thus, we decided to just walk down the entire stretch of beach.
15.--pm: We reached 'the other end', the wondrous foodcourt. Had our feet hurt and many wierd pictures captured. Never thought such fun could be found along the shore.
15.--pm: Due to somebody(s), we had to trek all the way back to Macdonalds' to fetch him(them). That long walk took one long torturous hour. Took a slightly longer way back. Saw a cute little crab and many mud-skippers. Wonder what they are doing there since there was no visible trace of mud or even lack of oxygen.
17.14pm: We reached Macdonalds' after trekking around 3000 metres to the food-court and back. Need to trek back again to have dinner at the amazing food-court. Seated in the air-conditioned comfort of The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, we kind of inspected our 'injury'. Pure chocolate and mocha ice-blended accompany us in the wait.
17.--pm: Javier finally arrived, after we managed to somehow convinced him to take a cab and reach faster.
17.--pm: Not long after, Arul finally arrived, much to all our amazement. We began to tell them of our little adventures and informed them of the long trek.
18.--pm: We reached the food-court, all tired and sweaty from the walk.
19.--pm: Three bowls of laksa, one plate of chicken rice, three cups of sugarcane juices, 20 sticks of mutton and chicken satays, a video, a teasing and many laughters later, we finally rounded up the last of our dinner.
19.--pm: Arul and Fiona went to check out the price of that cable-ski thing. Can't remember the pricing but it wasn't too but though a little expensive for my taste. After some wierd singing session, we walked to the bus-stop. Not forgetting that I saw a bat fly high past our heads.
20.--pm: Thanks to somebody, we waited for the bus, noisily. Arul took out his laptop and started getting high. Too into coaching mood and having a tad bit too high a self-esteem, I agree. But who cares, we are having the fun of our lives just in that small little 'hut' of metal.
21.--pm: After waiting for one hour, we decided to just take a cab to Bedok MRT Station.
22.--pm: The journey to the West ended and I reached home, finally.

Many thanks to Fiona who got me out of the house, Javier who paid for the satay and Arul who paid for the taxi fare. The videos are in my hands already, currently still lacking the photos. Oh, and did I mention that Fiona and I walked more than 4000 metres just in today alone, much to the protests of our shoes and feet. That will probably explain the limp in the steps and wierd sitting posture tommorrow.

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Okay, I seek the truth. But why is it that it always have to come at times when I really wish that it just doesn't exist? Like now? Maybe. After talking things through, I have come to realise how much I mean to people. As always, do unto others what you wan to get unto yourself. I paid the people around me little attention and it's perfectly true that they should not heed me. But, why do I still feel hurt, even after knowing the outcome? Sadly, unlike them, I would rather not wish to face up to them. What a coward. Guess that's just me. Things would have to be put right. Someday at least.

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I cannot see my future, that bright, shining, glowing end-of-tunnel thing. Wait, I remember something. I'm not allowed to say that. Or Shujun will come after me probably with parang or something else.

Shujun, though this is rather severely overdue, what you said did have an effect on me. Well, that's for you, in case you are wondering what went on afterwards and feeling frustrated with me. Scolding me with just that hint of sterness, as though you were afraid I would just lose it. I was close to that edge but you brought me back. How should I put it, I guess I just don't get used to doing or saying the many things I have in mind. But then again, the bubbles are with me, so I can blow them. Don't worry though, I haven't forgotten all about you. Will leave enough for your pleasure, I gurantee. Perhaps I will do some wierd concoction of bubble solution and then re-fill the bottle. That is, after we finished the original solution.

Now I see that you are back Fiona, I can have my late-night chatter back on again. Reading all those entries of your whereabouts in Malaysia makes me jealous. Someday, we need to go there ourselves and shop and other stuff. Meanwhile, we shall study and mug and everything until O's end. 17th for me and 20th for you. Now, it's the higher authorities to decide to put F&N on the 2oth, not me, so not my fault. After that, we will have roughly all the time in the world for each other. Reminding me of which, we need to decide and plan for the visiting of camps, and our plansafter that crappy exam. Oh, by the way, you know that I love you don't you? At least I know you love me, smiles.

Xueming! There you go again, bluffing me again. Thought there was supposed to be four people waiting for me to attend night-study, in the end there were three. Liying called you something, I'm not going to say it here. But, after Bro told her you weren't feeling well, her face sort of did a 540 degrees flip. You don't see her being concerned over someone everyday you know. As to what change my face or feeling had, I guess it's not important to you. Rest well little kid, and I will not let you off that easily for having bluff me so many times. Also, I'm not going to let you anywhere near the rain and hazr and all. Maybe I will out a hood over you or get you a hoodie and make you look like L.

I think I kind of stood you up yesterday again. Sorry Liying! I will get down to putting things right, soon I hope. As for that big topic we were all discussing that night, we shall further discuss it in finer details later. That kitkat bar of yours is half-eaten. The first bite tasted like panadol, the cherry flavoured one for kids. But the rest of it, was sour and sweet and smells nice. So, I'm wierder than you are, for I actually think that kitkat cherry blossom is nice. Oh my, I should bang my head against some wall. After O's and prom and result-taking. Remind me, I must not back out on Prom, I need to listen to Clara's presentation.

If you think you're left out, you are not! Never! Though I like always late and stuff, you never put me down much. You need to read this post girl! So, Yenling, when is our next trip down to the annoying and irritating? Soon right? Can't live too long without an argument and some teasing I guess. Makeover done by you, sure or not? You actually have that time to do that instead of preparing for the camp. Need me to go camp-shopping with you? Or bring you some cough-drops during camp? To my knowledge, I should be camping in Amara that night so the next morning I can still help to buy your breakfast, and perhaps Alan's too. Visiting should be done with Fiona, I hope/guess/wish.

Well, people, those who feel left out, I will continue probably tomorrow night, for I need to turn in for the night, or rather, morning. Loves and smiles, hugs and kisses. Laughs dies.

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Until I saw that, I din't know what I was in front of you. Now I do, I will do what need to be done. You will see the resutls of it. My only wish is for you to be contented with what I would be doing. Most probably, you wonuldn't even know what is happening around. I pray for that, sincerely. Like I had said before, I shall say it once more. If you are unhappy, say it. You know that I wouldn't mind. You knew that I would rather you speak it than hide it. You knew but you refused to acknowledge it. What more can I do? You have spoken your piece, I'm sorry I'm unable to return that favour. I do not need you to accept my apology. Do as you deem fit.

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I realise that I have too great an ego for my own good. Thus, I wouldn't ask anybody for help especially since I can't help them either. Ain't that just great? I wished I can switch lives with somebody sometimes.

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People are probably more afraid of being forgotten than being dead, the fact that we exist right here right now.
Everyone of us wanted to tell that fact to someone. Everyone will dissappear in the end, family, friends.
All the children of the world who are fighting in solitude, you might be alone. But do not be afraid of being alone anymore.

Quoted these from Battle Royale 2. Still trying to figure out if it's for real myself. Hopefully, I can reach a conclusion by the end of the movie.

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And, I don't even know that person who 'wants' to kill you.

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By the way, before I forget. I still want to thank you for finding me. I guess you are perhaps the only person who can find me. Won't forget this.

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Whatever suits then. I'm still being nice and true and all. I said that it doesn't matter to me. Nothing does anymore.

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Of all people, I have come to dislike liars most. Seriously, who likes being lied to? Not me, not you, I hope.

However, I'm most amazed at someone, myself, for having the great magnimousity to forgive them unconditionally. Am I that dumb or is it that I just give up on them? I wish I were dumber, then at least I had an excuse. But, my reason for forgiving them? If they want to deny,then they shall continue to do so. At that particular point of time, I'm not the one who has the right to wake them up from their dreamland.

How I wish the world was simpler. That the people waking up on this globe would not be so complicated. That I don't have to go and decipher and understand just what they are up to. My head hurts from this and I'm not sadistic enough to like that feeling of pain, nausea, hurt. I'm tired of having to read in between the lines. I'm tired of having to mask it all up that I don't know what they are up to when it there right before me. Sometimes, I really wish I just wouldn't wake up.

Their motives, their hearts, their mindsets. Where has simplicity gone to? The dogs? As of now, I do not yearn for someone to save me from the world, to hold me up, to comfort me. I just hope someone, or some people, would bring me back from my deciphering of the secrets to Man's heart.



Did you know, sometimes I just hate you so much I wish I could just slap you. But I never wanted to because I know that I'm at fault too. Sometimes I wish you would stop lying to me and start asking me straight up front. I'm tired of having to trick you into saying what's on your mind. I wish I want to die now. But on the contrary, I don't, I wish to live and hopefully help others, luckily, not at the expense of myself.

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This feels wierd. I just posted this on the Chao Xtraz blog, and here I am putting the same wierd-sounding post on my own blog. But nonetheless, I do hope at least some people benefit from this.

I remember something that Greta Tang said. "Don't be discouraged!" Of all the schools in Singapore, our school rank among the better of the more than average schools. However, if you have forgotten, the top schools where majority of their pupils score straight A's, are already in IP program, doing their wierd exams and tests and will not vie with us for the A's in O's. After minusing away all these schools and pupils, most of our pupils would be ranked among about the top 100-200 pupils. With this fact in mind, you are almost guranteed to get an A1, or rather Ehh-1.

Such dry humor, nonetheless, I'm amazed that I'm encouraging others, especially you guys. But then again, what are friends for?

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Well, after what Liying blogged about, I realised that 4 years isn't long at all. On the contrary, it's way too short. However, it's not too short to see them all grow. It has been fun to see all my dear friends grow up, really.

Liying, from a really tom-boy person to such a cute girl now...
Yiting from her innocent outlook to one who sees the world in its place...
Jasmine from being short-tempered to somebody who takes the time out to listen to another...
Fion from her sudden flares to one who find alot of other ways to vent her anger...
Astrea from that cute innocent little girl to one whom you can depend on...
Hui Shin from her primary-school style to a person with great personality...

Of course, through this tedious journey of having to deal with the separation from our wonderful friends in primary school, to facing new people in secondary school, to making new friends, to the different things we do together, to streaming at secondary2, to finally, the great O's. Seeing evrybody around change so much, I began to think. That maybe I need to bring myself to a higher level, to understand them better, and others better.

Somehow, I feel that I'm rather inferior to them. They have changed so much, changed to become a much, much better person. And me, I feel as though I'm still that little kid from four years ago.

To my great friends, I love you guys. You are great people. I want go prom. Next step would be to convince my parents that it's a safe event and I will be alright.

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从你眼睛看着自己最幸福的倒影
握在手心的默契是明天的指引
无论是远近什么世纪
在天堂拥抱或荒野流离

我爱你我敢去未知的任何命运
我爱你我愿意准你来跋扈地决定世界边境

偶尔我真的不懂你又有谁真懂自己
往往两个人多亲密是透过伤害来证明
像焦虑不安我就任性
怕泄漏你怕所以你生气
我爱你让我听你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲你倔强到极限的心

我撑起所有爱围成风雨的禁地
当狂风豪雨想让你喘口气
被划破的信心需要时间痊愈
梦想牵着怀疑未来看不清
就紧紧地拥抱去传递
能量和勇气我爱你我爱你

我想去未知的任何命运
我爱你让我听你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲你倔强到极限的心

哪里都一起去一起仰望星星
一起走出森林一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌一起雨过天晴
一起更懂自己一起找到意义
让我爱你
我不要没有你我不能没有你绝不能没有你

This song make me feel like I'm back to the starting point. An unknowing kid. Someone trying to act smart, as if she knows the works and way of life.

Let me love myself. Please.

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Well. Today has been like quite a fruitful day? Basically because WeiQi and gang were talking about Prom and they were trying to persuade me to go and join them. Well, the idea does seem tempting, especially now that there is quite a major change in my schedule. I really feel like slapping/shouting/yelling/beating/hitting/punching/slapping/strangling some people. Maybe it isn't just some people. I think there is quite a number of them. The first I think starts with 'D'? Followed by an 'E'?

I shall continue to be nice, since it's going to be the last day of school tommorrow. I should leave at least a pleasant impression on them/her/him, shouldn't I? What with those violent thoughts. I shall keep/hide/bury them all until I'm done with my term in school. Practicals and exams I shall go.

Should I or shouldn't I?

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Thanks to my big mouth and my too-quick a brain, I think I've got to bring an extra weight to school, even though I should not complain. Tomorrow shall be a long long day. A day of which I will look back in distaste.

Sitting down, taking a break, not getting discouraged as Greta Tang has said. Seems funny to think that I should feel good about myself and relax abit, just a teeny weeny little bit. The science labs are close so all I can do i pray that my TYS have some sort of amazing powers. Theorised chemistry practical here I come.

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