why do i love you, like i do?


aint gona show

awfully 19 ; CSS-ed,MBIO-ing bonnet,athena,infra,石头,simurgh,ORION let's make merry with chocolates,music&dance
&do away with the dark,thunder&lightning

no weakness


im gona smile&tell
JA-NE; Kelvin; qUeeN seraPHIna; D.Ray; Shi Pei; XueMing; Xinyi; moomoo; chocoLATE!, cow's twin.; edahDAHDAHDAH; FONG eng; milli SOTONG!; ethan-ed; MY jyan=p; raffy...; xiao wei; alvin (MUMMY!); charmaine (DADDY!!); daRRen (UNCLE!!!); donald; joel; mandy; just steph; vanessa; JAmie; fanFAN; sOshi!; wenliang; jinguan

the whole world
© * étoile filante
inspiration/colours: mintyapple
icons: cablelines
reference: x / x

im fine
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title:
date: Thursday, May 31, 2007
time:5/31/2007 09:56:00 PM
I hate alternating headaches, nausea and chest aches. So unhealthy. I want to blog, but have no idea what to type out. So bored.


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title: sadded
date: Tuesday, May 29, 2007
time:5/29/2007 01:26:00 AM
I feel really childhood-deprived. When I thought I can have a share in playing, I was wrong. I have to help, one of the parties. Sad ain't it. Arguing when deadline is just later. Useless beings without sense of priority. Retards, worthy only to the dead, perhaps. Eyes threatening to close already and here I am blogging, trying to keep myself awake. The need to squeeze something out from my brain is overwhelming. I want to play. To just let go and play. But I know, I can't. Nothing good will come out of it. It will always stay this way. Unless, the children are kept away from me. But still, people will get hurt. That's the way I play. That's also the way I want to play and it's also the only way which I know of. Pathetic.



It has been a long time since I throw my thoughts here, or maybe even anywhere. These thoughts, I reckon, are as harmful to humans as the hydrocarbons we use in Organic and Biological Chemistry. Brains are amazing. I wonder if somebody will let me play with theirs.=)


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title:
date: Friday, May 25, 2007
time:5/25/2007 03:05:00 PM
1 LIM CHOON LOONG BENJAMIN 10025711F
2 KWAN MUN KIONG 10037759E
3 WONG WEI SAN 10033754D
4 TAY WEN JUN DONALD 10035448B
5 NG HUI XIAN 10035482K
6 TAN BEE SIM 10035244D
7 CHUA PEIWEN 10025109J
8 DAVIN QUEK RUI QUN 10037198B
9 CHAN XIANG LING 10035736D
10 CHUA JUN JIE JEREMIAH 10035154F
11 YEO WEI LIANG JEREMY 10025170J
12 CHONG PEI FEN 10036183E
13 FOO FANG HUI 10027178J
14 PEK KIAP HOW 10025773B
15 BEH SZE HSIEN DENYSE 10035683A

Ok, that's total shit. Mummy is super emo now because he didn't get in. And me? Being in school I can't do much, I don't know what to do anyway. I call, he don't want to pick up. I sms, he emo-ed in the sms. Daddy, go counsel him! I'm really lost.


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title: the massacre of brain cells!
date: Thursday, May 24, 2007
time:5/24/2007 11:46:00 PM
I'm like super *** now. Everytime I go to ***** blog, a wave of different feelings gush over me. And just now, I linked myself to ******* blog, where other wave of feelings overpower me. That's a combination which left me quite **** and ***. I just cannot tak it. ***** is talking to me now, about my ***-****. But, I have nothing to say. I'm just concern about some issues. Sera, talk faster! Or rather type faster!


Typing with all those asterisks is quite fun actually. Pardon all my grammar mistakes by the way. Thinking is killing my brain cells slowly. I really wonder if I really can reproduce enough braincells to replenish those lost. Bought Pepperidge Farm's soft-chunks dark chocolate brownies. ***** got the Milano dark chocolate one. It's still as nice, but the biscuits still cuts my mouth as usual. I wonder why.


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title:
date: Tuesday, May 22, 2007
time:5/22/2007 01:10:00 PM

I have so much things to do for this week and time just seems to leave me. Quizzes, tests and all. On top of those, Projects. Major percentage of marks is at stake here! Next week is supposed to be study week, but why do I still have practical test on Monday? Adding onto the list are project presentation, first round of report submission, speech. Quiz yesterday was quite ok. Obviously no full marks as I didn't study at all. Lucky I slept during the lecture so I manage to stay awake for the quiz. I still have no idea what i parafin doing on my question paper. Still unsure of the general chemical formula. IT Excel quiz later. It's an open book test, but what use does it serve when you don't even understand the contents or if the steps inside are discontinued? Xinni talking to me now and she just told me she saw me last Friday! What the hell?! Why didn't I see her?



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title: HAI~
date:
time:5/22/2007 12:56:00 PM
Watched Bridge to Terabithia on Sunday with mummy, Tse Ying, Bernie, Boon and Poa Yin. Yeah. Big group of people again. Went to arcade with them. Mummy sent me home, not without paying to watch me die on the DDR machine. Plus, it had to be the one at the entrance to the Jurong Point arcade. Wonder what I said to deserve that. So, anyway, muscle aches due to His Evilness. Poor little me. I want to watch POC3! NANA~! Wonder who would have the time to accompany me to watch it. And after reading Nana's blog, I want to watch Shrek3 with her. Being a nice girl, I wouldn't bully her by calling her Shrek's wife. Or even calling her a shrek. But, she can't be the princess either because that's my status. So many things to do, so little time. I have no idea what to do for project. So tired, so lost. Later, have to go meet Mummy later so he can tackle my Cell Bio. It's in dire straits you see. Canteen1 is forever so noisy.


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title: Bimbotism: The Janine Way
date: Monday, May 21, 2007
time:5/21/2007 11:43:00 PM
1. Act Blur
2. Act Bimbo
3. Act dumb
4. Upgrade self
5. Maintain intelligence

I feel tired. Good. Bad.


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title: DIE
date:
time:5/21/2007 10:58:00 PM
I really feel like blogging in Singlish. There are project deadlines to meet, there are quizzes to do, there are common tests to study for. All in a weeks time. Common tests in two weeks' time. No breather. I wish I can just jump off. I wanted to say alot of things just now. And now, I can't remember what I need and want to do. I feel lost, yet again. I wish I can stop emo-ing, and like do something productive or useful.


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title: FOC BBQ
date:
time:5/21/2007 01:01:00 AM
Okay. It was fun, fun and fun. Bascially, because I set up the fire with Shipei and Elias. I wish somebody could take over that damn job during a bloody BBQ. But then agan, who cares when you can play with the charcoals and get your hands all black and dirty only to be able to clean them on your GLs? Sounds evil but Shipei and I actually chased Jeremiah all the way to the toilet. Well, we set up the fire alright, super smoothly. Some people just have to come over and give useless opinions and snatch the job away only to extinguish that fire. Their estimation of time is really bad. Wanted to spread the fire when it isn't even stable. And being guys, their egos insisted that they should "take over" the job from us. And sadly, it was also their egos which caused their pathetic downfall. Quite amazingly their little spreading of fire failed, though they seemed to know lots about setting up a fire. Right, you should turn the fire into burning embers when it isn't even stable, right, super clever. Well, Shipei and I decided to go emo-ing on the beach, but didn't even walk 100m when we decided to go to the playground. Helped Veltro take a mini group photo. I finally met Ziying, Jiamin's friend. Had a short moment to being stunned because Janani went "it's her!" and pointed at me. My memory is short-lived as I took like half a minute to catch the balls. Anyway, Aisyah II and her friend started cooking when us two went to the playground. Came back after don't know how long only to find the damn pit crowded with freshies. So, we just took a plate and fork each and went over to the GLs pit where it's like much less crowded. Davin's, the second chef, cooking is not bad for the crabsticks ae actually nice. Except for afew that are half-warmed up laterally, literally. When Lendl, the asst. second chef, took over, he got a warning because most of his crabsticks are half-warmed. At least they were better than that guy who was supposed to do the sausages, for he really overestimated the strength and area of the fire, causing all of them to be half-warmed. but who cares about the state of the food when we have quality ones and loads of fun! Uncle is a super big bucket of fun, and so are mummy and Donald. Went to the playground again with Jieying to play and relive our non-existant childhood. Did I mention that I was walking barefooted since the beach trip as I was wearing shoes. Sad case. Sort of crashed Stardust's gathering there. But, I'm not caring, especially now. Played lots more then went back for a drink, only to find our bottle of Pepsi gone. After a trip to the toilet to wash our feet, Jieying, Shipei and I went over to the cafe nearby and bought Hooch. Back at the BBQ pit, everybody dived for my bottle! So unfair. Mummy snatched it away only with Donald and Joel trying to grab it from him. Seniors keep saying I drunk because of my eyes. I only feel sian and super emo. Must be the sudden coldness that was washing over my brain. Another sad case. After that, Mummy had to wait for me at the cafe while Shipei and I helped the GLs set up the freshie fire again. When finishing, I found mummy walking back to find me for he was just too impatient of waiting for me at the cafe. Took a bus before the roundabout only to find everybody else boarding the bus after it. Went to the MRT station and realised that the last train had gone. So, in the end, Jieying, Shipei, mummy and I cabbed home. No choice. The two of them alighted at Tampiness. Shipei, to take 67, Jieying lived around there though. Grand total of the resulted cab trip was $38 plus. We three pitted in too okay! Shall sleep now and blog about yesterday tonight.


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title: O's cert
date: Saturday, May 19, 2007
time:5/19/2007 12:28:00 AM
Read the chaoxtraz latest blog post and Hui Shin reminded me. I have not gone back to take my O level certificate. Nobody can compromise with my timetable you see. And that brings me back to another point, my timetable is crazy. My classes are all in the afternoon, not the best time for me to be productive. But, lucky at least now I don't sleep in the afternoon, only in the morning. I guess that's equally bad. Mummy kind of lectured me over SMS on I-can't-remember-when because I didn't want to go ask Mr Mak about my Cell Biology. Hope I can push that back further since Desmie is going to pass me SP Biology notes.


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title:
date: Tuesday, May 15, 2007
time:5/15/2007 01:09:00 AM
I'm going crazy again. I'm like trying to supress my hunger. Haven't eaten since 2pm. Other than that Collon(strawberry) during Chemistry lecture, which accounts to nothing since I fell aslp and went for tennis. Energy used up. That packet of M&M's dark chocolate hardly make up for anything at all. I feel hungry but my parents want to me to go sleep. Too hungry to sleep. Need food. Again.


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title:
date: Tuesday, May 08, 2007
time:5/08/2007 12:27:00 AM
I don't know what to do. Again. Mummy is crying. I can't do shit. Dad went thorough some surgery thing. I can't do shit. I want to play tennis in a way that I know I can. I can't do shit. I don't understand my lessons. I can't do shit. I'm feeling down. Again, I can't do shit about it. I wonder what I can do. Anymore. Maybe I'm just going through another stage in life. Not again. Need to brace myself for later. Need to brace myself for the world. Need to brace myself for Polykids. Need to brace myself for JC people. Need. Yeps.


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title: humans, adults, kids, me
date: Saturday, May 05, 2007
time:5/05/2007 12:04:00 AM
I'm feeling thankful for the creation of MSN. And the emoticons people have created. No matter what you feel like, you can always use a very different emoticon to conceal how you actually feel. The wonders of advanced technology. But somehow, it just doesn't work very well with me. Lappie crashed on Monday. The helpdesk guy couldn't do anything more to it on Wednesday. I wish somebody can just go with me to Fujitsu tomorrow. I know I should be more independent so, scratch that previous statement. I'm going to Fujitsu tomorrow morning and after that, it's on to SimLim Square to get myself a hard-disk drive. However, now that I re-consider, is it really wise to get one? Especially now since lappie is in a very bad condition. Let me confirm again tomorrow, after I get down to Fujitsu.


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title: O.O
date: Wednesday, May 02, 2007
time:5/02/2007 11:42:00 PM
I realised something. I'm not very close to the people in school. I have no significance in their eyes. For the first time in my life, nobody said happy birthday to me in school. They didn't know anyway. There was no way they could have known since I didn't even tell them. Went out to have dinner and neoprints with Shujun and Shipei. Shipei's birthday is tomorrow by the way. No lessons for them today. That accounts for the other half of the reason that nobody in school wished me happy birthday. Earliest wishes were from Kelvin, Fiona, Arul, javier and Yenling since we all met up on Sunday. Next was Jackie, this Great Eastern Life planner whom I met on Monday. She's nice, she wished me once that day and sent an sms yesterday too. Desmie sent his sms over last night at 10 plus. Xueming sent his over after Shipei corrected his calendar at 7.39am. Followed not in order were Xinyi, Shipei, Keehong. Did I leave out anybody? Sorry. Tell me and I shall correct. Teddy Bears are the trend again I think, based on those two that I got. Not that I don't like, but I was surprised that I'm still a tedy bear kind of girl. Didn't know I still looked like.


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title: Old
date:
time:5/02/2007 12:00:00 AM
I feel old. And I hate this feeling. It just feels so old. Ironic?


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