I'm like getting songs from Nana! Let me swoon over it. Her playlist really has some nice songs! And it's been ONE whole year since we saw anything of each other. Living in two opposite parts of Singapore really is tough! Hard to meet, hard to meet and hard to meet!

I want to learn how to make egg-tarts! But... wells, it's alright I guess. But, at least let me eat them! Come on, nobody I know knows how to make anything. Except for Ying Min the cookie-master! I don't frigging care if I can't fry an egg damn it!

I'm going to be Desmie's tour guide to NP! Hopefully he does NOT test me on the history and stuffs, which sadly is what he likes to do to me. His forte seems to be bullying Ying Li into having nothing to say and have to look to him for answers. I mean, like for eons ago, he's been the know-it-all that I first knew, got to know but still don't understand. Haven't seen him in like TWO whole years?! Can't help feeling excited! He changed alot from what I can see from his friendster pictures. And yes, you're like forever bestie! And I read your blog, and am very very very unhappy about something.

Ohs, so Jehanne is back in Singapore like from don't know how long ago. And, I have another kangaroo stuff toy to my collection! Happiness, I tell you! Now my bed is sitting with stuff toys from all my beloved! Envy her for getting to meet up with Daddy in Aussie. I didn't even get to see her when she came back. Other than that time when she came for training.

The Pangkor people are BACK! Like since, last week or something? Had many laughters listening to the happenings over there. And asyraf, KOTA TINGGI ain't no SLUMS please! There are so much less beehives in the cubicles, no more ANTS in showerheads, no BEES, no STUFFY tents and other what nots. And from the pictures I see of Pangkor, it's not that shabby okay! I have gone to places worse.

Met Sera specially for lunch last week too! I mean, how many times in my life do I actually do that?! Especially for Sera it's like a total first! Walk, walk, talk, talk, eat, eat, laugh, laugh, shop, shop, zi-high, zi-high. I'm mad about that KOREAN shop in WEST MALL! It's so cute!

Another plus point for my previously dreadful week, WEIJIE came to talk to me! Even though it's at like 3am in the night. First time okay! And in a very very very long time. Though the topic was rather demoralising, but, still miss talking to him. Obviously not the part that I look like donald duck. Come on, it CAN'T possibly be true right?!

The good feeling of being part of ORION is still left inside of me. Everytime I think of them, and the times we spent in Kota Tinggi, I just feel like crying. I'm not sure how much impact our words and decisions have on them, but I do remember the impact the group have on me. They let me have a brand new impression on family. It must have been the LOVE!

Happiness continue even into my work! Met this new partner of mine who can really entertain me and bring laughter to the working area. Gossip lots and laugh so much that the supervisor had to tell us to quieten down.

Of course, there had been many down points. The quarrels are geting on my nerves.


Current mood has been changed from super high and happy to super down and out. Roller-coaster rides are part of my life as much as yours. I'm only human. Don't worry, I can still bear it. At least for quite a long time.


Final note: All these things I hate revolve around me, but the tears don't fall.

a mistake/ top

YINGLI IS NOT GONNA CRY
JUST BECAUSE SHE HAS NOBODY WITH HER IN FRENCH CLASS
JUST BECAUSE FRENCH IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT
JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GET UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS GONNA REPEAT 3 FRIGGING MODULES
JUST BECAUSE HER TIMETABLE IS BLOODY SCREWED UP
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS NEVER GONNA SEE HER FRIENDS AGAIN
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID OF BEING ALONE DURING LESSON TIMES
JUST BECAUSE SHE GETS AFRAID OF BREAKS NOW
JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN'T SEEM TO SQUEEZE IN EXTRA MODULES
JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN'T FIND A WAY AROUND THINGS
JUST BECAUSE SHE HATES HER MODULES
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S GONNA GET AIMED BY THE SAME LETURERS AGAIN
JUST BECAUSE THE ENTIRE OFFICE KNOWS HER
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S GONNA MISS HER CLASS
JUST BECAUSE SHE DUNNO WAD TO DO ABOUT HER FYP
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS MORE INTERESTED IN 2.1 MODULES YET CAN'T GET THEM
JUST BECAUSE...

because she is strong or at least has to be.
but even so, she's still afraid of the unknown, still afraid that nobody's gonna help her.
because to her, friends are but a luxury that she can't seem to ever afford.

a mistake/ top

一个人走一走
街灯下的路口
握不紧的双手
不知怎么形容
已被你击退的我
不知道该往哪躲
想不到挽留的借口
面对面跟我说
你已经不爱我
承诺全部没收
让我忘了所有
一个人重新来过
你怎么那么从容
怎么都等不及我回头
狠心的话 全都讲完
剩下的路 各走一半
也许我真的不够勇敢
毕竟相爱一场有太多片段
告诉我 怎么能忘记你的笑容
告诉我 怎么做才是普通朋友
假如你用心守候
不会是这个结果
你说的我都懂
我却不能够 就这样放手
告诉我 悲伤的时候会想起我
告诉我 你舍得让我独自漂泊
有些话说不出口
害怕又犯下了错
分手还没有说泪就先流

From rolling love!

a mistake/ top

Was rather looking forward to the Overseas Training Camp. Although I doubt that the campers remembered the name of the camp or what it represented because seriously, I forgot too till I saw the camp t-shirt. The campers were excited and readied themselves by chit-chatting with each other and getting ampls rest. As for the seniors, being able to foresee circumstances, all slept at some point of time on the bus. Especially me!

Orion was so excited about the camp that when I wanted to take the pictures, they were all beaming. Managedd to take only the girls pictures as the guys were too anxious to explore the campsite. Meals served there wasn't up to previous standards though, and the drinks got complained everytime. Guess milo is still the easiest to make! However, supper saw great changes with chocolate cream bread and strawberry and chocolate milk.

That's the Indiana Jones that we had to compete on. Having had experienced it, Liting and I were able to balance on it better this year. However, guys being guys, they jsut had to try to make everybody fall into the water. No 180 degrees turn this year, thankfully. It's Xiao Ming on the bridge for your information.

Fangfang and the xiaolili-es! Taken on the bus-trip home. The three of us couldn't sleep and so we went to entertain ourselves with singing, playing and taking pictures.

This is Daniel, Centaurus' instructor. Knew him on the bus trip back to school. Quite a nice singing voice I would say.

Many things happened on during the camp, good and bad. But all the seniors hoped that all the campers felt good and had lots of fun. Of course, we hope that they felt the plenty that we had given for the camp. The restrictions we set on ourselves, the mood we struggle to change each time and the situations we had to settle inpromptu. OTC had been tough on me and Ireally hope that the Orion that I see during camp would always be there, as the days go by, bonded and supportive.

On a sidenote, the instructors were lots of fun too.
Camp chief: He kept making me have to panic about both Xiao Wei's devil keychain and his elmo stuff toy. He took the devil keychain while climbing Mt. Panti and got me all panicky and anxious about the loss. Not to mention he asked if I had let Elmo drink water during the climb. Lastly, I forgot to take a picture with him. Of course I haven't forgotten the guidance he gave for us to cross the Singapore customs successfully.
Xiao Ming: Led Orion through the camp, letting them have fun, and indirectly let them start to have a different impression of us. Many thanks to the little boy who never fail to bring laughter and motivation to the group.
Daniel: Led Centaurus on the trek up Mt. Panti with many cheers and motivation. This got us all in Orion motivated and hyped up for the trek. The constant encouragement towards Centarus made those in Orion start motivating and encouraging each other.
Melvin: That song that he kept singing throughout the camp is still stuck in my head! Nice tactic used to make us all remember him! And, I'm not fierce. It's just that my eyes are big!
Xin Yi: Don't really know much her. But, always seeing her tomboy-ish yet cheerful laughter is enough to help us pick our spirits up with ease!
Freddy the ex-commando: Always smiling, which totally trashed our impression of a commando.

a mistake/ top

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great!
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry

This innocence is brilliant, it makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliant, please don't go away
'Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by



This is how I would describe my eventful polytechnic life. Innocence. The purity of it. The scared thing that has long been missing from my life. Of course, there were events which happened along the way that's more familiar to me. But still... It's nive to deal with innocence, just as it sometimes is frustrating.

P.S.: Sera, is it really how our lives has to become? I sometimes wish you could be here to see what I'm seeing. I guess what we hoped to see really do STILL exist, in some parts of the world. Lying there, waiting for us to find it.

a mistake/ top

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
Your finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight
Won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when your blind
It's better than I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right,
It's too late to fight,
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight, just a little insight
Won't make this right, it's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight,
Tonight,
Insight,
When darkness turns to light it ends tonight

a mistake/ top

Baby set me free from this misery
I cant take it no more
Since you went away nothing's been the same
Don't know what I'm living for
Here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

So I told you lies even made you cry
Baby I was so wrong
Girl I promise you now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs
Cos here I am so alone
And theres nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

And I wonder, are you thinking of me
Cos Im thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?
Cos here I am so alone
And theres nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go


My mind has been turned into something in the likes of a whirlpool and I'm not in the middle of it all. All my thoughts turned inside out and flung away into the depths of darkness where I can't venture to find. The tears I held back to portray the happy me, the confusion and frustration of pressure, the sheer torment of being there, it's all ended. You should return to where you once belonged, use to belong, should have belonged, and now, must belong, in the depths of that darkness, with everything I have lost because of you. And this time, I know it will never come back up to the surface again.

a mistake/ top

Things done:

: recce-ed LSCT foyer for LSCT Escaparate performance

: thought about the buying of logistics for OTC

: checked out clubs for D&D



Seriously, I know I have alot to do, but everytime I want to do something, I just can't seem to remember the things that need to be done. All of them just suddenly seem to require preparations or fore-work. Anyway, working tomorrow, in the afternoon. I wonder how life working at Taka would be like without Sherman. Bet it's going to be boring.



My next week is completely booked up. Except for Monday. There's the buying of OTC logistics and GLs' dance rehearsal on Tuesday. Wednesday will see to cleaning of clubhouse and once again, GLs' dance practice. There's work on Thursday afternoon. Having to meet early on Friday morning will mean that I don't have enough time to sleep.



I'm afraid for the events. I'm not being told things. Things are hidden from me. It will all result in me not doing anything. But however things go, I'm prepared, for the good, better and best. Of course not forgetting the bad, worse and worst. I already gave up Red Camp 5 SL for my things in main comm. so there's nothing to fret.



We are all human. And therefore, I know your thoughts. However thwarted they may be. It's the reason I live.



Anyways, baked cookies today! Passed them to Kaijie, Yenling and Ethan. Got Kaijie's notes for Kathy like I said I would. I totally cannot believe that Rachel screamed into the phone when I told her I know where Ethan Khoo lives. He is NOT some legendary character. Just a normal breathing cute guy. How I know him? Long story. Joanne and Xiaowei knows it too. And talking about Ethan, he finished half the container of cookies in 2 hours. That's like about 30 cookies or more in 2 hours! Straight after dinner. He's so getting fat and I will see him in the Alumni Gym again. Not to mention with the fairfair Godwin, who will never fail to report my appearance.



Rachel, if you want to see or talk to Ethan, I can always give you his number. Not like he will kill me or something. Alternatively, you can come by the school more often in the evening and hopefully he will be at the gym. There's the toastmasters' meeting on Thursday night!

a mistake/ top

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I've lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...

Tonight...

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just know
I'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight.


Thanks Laodou for always being there, through your heartbreak, your heartache, all your frustration. And yet, you're always the first ever to sense that somehting is seriously wrong and bring me back to the reality that I've always been trying desparately to run away from. The truths, the agony, the harsh words, the straight-forward manner, the consolations, the constant probing, the teasing despite you being worried. Really, sometimes I think of how you could possibly have gone through life as it was. The toughness of it all, the stress, the emotional rollar-coasters. I've been running away, hiding from everything. But I promise that I would tell you everything, when you ask. That I will be a better person for this world, my world and simply just to ease your burden and make your life simpler.

a mistake/ top

I think this thing is funny shit.

I am 5'4" or shorter.
I think I'm ugly.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear glasses sometimes. (like now?)
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger (it actually happened..)
I have more than 2 piercings (i want to though)
I have piercings in places besides my ears
I have freckles

Family/Home life
I've sworn at my parents
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I've lost a child (as in she literally went missing=.=)

Embarrassment.
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry. (of course!they were meant to do that)
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something. (and on purpose)
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
I've had my pants rip in public.

Health.
I was born with a disease/impairment. (does thasselaemia trait count?)
I've had stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.

Travelling.
I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.
I've been to France.

Experiences.
I've been lost in my city. (yeah, I know, I'm a noob.)
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas. (when I was real young and to the doctor's)
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle. (that's like truth or dare right?)
I've crashed a car
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play (only in dance)
I've met someone in person from the internet. (with a friend of course)
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night. (wanted to but my friend ditched me)
I've played chicken. (chicken dance?cowardice?both done)
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten Sushi.
I've been snowboarding.

Relationships.
I'm single. (sometimes I wish I was though.)
I'm in a relationship.
I'm available. (I will never say no to going out to have fun.)
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper. (things have been really rough)
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've been divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (this will always happen right?)
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. (i don't know how to explain this.)
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality.
I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
I've kissed a member of the same gender. (on the cheek only please)
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler. (cuddling is fun please.)
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've had sex outdoors.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime.
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. (I let myself down too many times)
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world. (even in this quiz thing.)
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight. (nearly though)
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol.
I've consumed alcohol.
I smoke cigarettes. (only of people who do.)
I smoke pot.
I regularly drink. (don't have that luxury)
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I've done hard drugs.
I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
I take cough meds when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem. (depending on size)

Mental health.
I have been diagnosed with depression. (I'm just waiting for my turn.)
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I have an eating disorder. (i can just don't eat for a whole day.)
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.

Death.
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals. (it's too much work.)
I've seen someone dying.
I have attempted suicide. (very nearly did)
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random.
I can sing well. (i'm tone-deaf.)
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. (other stuffs, yes.)
I open up to others too easily. (sometimes, to certain people.)
I don't kill bugs.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person. (currently.)
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I play with my hair. (it's reflex.)
I have/had "x"s in my screen name. (just that one...)
I love being neat. (other than my room ironically.)
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well. (what's so difficult about baking cookies?)
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (actually all except yellow.)
I don't know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I can, and still make it look nice.)
I laugh at my own jokes. (Ethan's jokes are funnier.)
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts. (it's intesresting why.)
I am online 24/7, even as an away message. (I wish I can.)
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (but I'll still fall asleep all the same.)
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I'm good at remembering faces. (faces are easy to remember!)
I'm good at remembering names. (names are rather easy. but not together with names.)
I'm good at remembering dates. (quite.)
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (i'm serious.)


I just realise that I bold quite a lot more than Hongwei, Xiao Wei, Yong Jin and Edah. Wow.

a mistake/ top

I was thinking about the sms just now.


BUT!!!

Guylian seashell chocolates invaded my thoughts! Well, at least it wasn't random. I was just thinking about what 'farewell' present to give Sherman. I mean, after all, he has been my mentor, tolerating all my shit and blunder at work, and he's my senior from NP too! Just trying to think of what chocolaetes to get him since he requested for them and Guylian came in, in the form of Kai Jie's suggestion. At least it's better than somebody's wonderful suggestion of a PSP.



I LOVE GUYLIAN SEASHELLS!!

Another thing, I'm in love with cute microbe stuff toys! http://bloodseraphinap.blogspot.com/ Nope, she's not selling it. But she just posted what I told her up. I still insist that they are cute, no doubt.

a mistake/ top

Got my duty roster yesterday at work. It could have counted as the worst day of my life. The sales are like amazingly low.

Talk about more interesting stuffs, injuries are happening like nobody's business! Kai Jie tore his ligament, injured his knee and something happened to his feet. I'm having muscle-aches and backache since Friday. Went for campus run on Thursday with Hong Yi, the opposite way and did some stunts while the GLs are rehearsing/choreographing their dance. It seems that I have strained some muscle(s) on my back and trigger my old back injury. Meanwhile, due to the long break from running and sudden extreme excercise, my thighs are still complaining! Come on, we completed the run of about 3 plus km in 20 minutes or so! The lack of sleep on Thursday must have completed it all. I slept at 3am and woke up at 3.15am, finally went to sleep again at 5.15am, only to open my eyes again at 7.15am. After which I didn't and couldn't sleep because I was afraid of over-sleeping and not be able to meet Henry to pass him the money for the IMPORTANT shirts. And, just yesterday, Ethan injured his hand while swimming at Sentosa. On the other hand, the girls are just fine.

Anyway, was on the topic of Sentosa with Ethan and shopping spree with Kai Jie, I'm kind of missing BOTH right now. So, I came up with a list of to-dos!

Here goes!

movies to watch...
- 4bia (I don't have a good feeling about it though.)
- My Sassy Girl (It sounds nice.)
- Babylon A.D. (Somebody brain-washed me into wanting to watch it.)
- Mama Mia (I know Yewey wants to watch it.)
- Mirrors (It's a typical horror movie, so, the more the merrier!)
- All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (This should be classed under horror thriller.)
- Eagle Eye (The plot sounds interesting enough.)
- Max Payne (This show is randomly interesting.)
- The Fox and The Child (It's so my kind of movie!)

Shopping spree...
- Buy a few pieces of casual dresses (NOT off blogshops.)
- Some nail polish? (Sally Hansons', O2, The Face Shop...)
- Another pair of shoes. (Either in full black or full white.)
- Snow-skin mooncakes!
- Perfume! (Escada? Moschino?)

Outings...
- K-box/Partyworld (Oh please!)
- Post OTC outing! (I foresee it being Sentosa again.)
- BBQ (I think I'm addicted to these carcinogenic food already.)
- Simurgh outing (It has like already been 5 months since FOC.)
- SGLs outing (Just like when we were during the GLs days...)
- GL chalet (I'm kind of addicted to chalets too, you see.)
- Zoo! (Nicole CHUA!)
- Sentosa, yet again (With the bikini tops and girls and all!)
- Drinking with the chaoxtraz (I saw Liying's post about that.)
- Out with the queen (I don't know what's up with that. Perhaps the introduction to the shuai-ge of LSCT, Ethan.)
- Chill-out session with Ray & Pei (Korean dramas or Taiwan dramas?)

That's quite the long list of things for me to accomplish in the next 5 weeks. Those, on top of my LSCT Escaparate preparations, my search, the OTC, sourcing of venues for D&D, my part-time job, spending of time with my precious people, old friends, new friends and spending of precous time with myself and perhaps many others! Way to go, Lilie! Can't have time to fall ill, though I'm feeling something after all these days of unrest. I'm overly high now. Hang in there, kid! You have the whold world concerning about you.

sidenote: I wonder...if...
note: perhaps this is how SHE is living her life right now.


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I can't believe that I just nearly cried in the clubhouse. If anyone of them or the GLs came in, it'll be super embarrassing can? I'm not going to say what happen, but just leaving at I had alot of thoughts rushing through my head. Each overwhelming another, plus, I was listening to several emo songs. My hand is still trembling from the effort to hold back my tears.


Sidenote: I'm waiting for Ter Soon to come back. I brought the forms already but he's missing! Okay, so are the rest of them. Hopefully they are already having de-brief or clearing up because it's already like 1 hour late.


Back to my entry.
I know there are so many things that I don't know. But then again, nobody ever bother telling me anything at all. It's quite a shock to find out about things on your own, especially when you're alone and the feeling of such discovery is so overwhelming that you can't control your emotions. But to act the usual, I need to hide and swallow everything inside. There have never been a situation where I can vent out my frustration upon my discoveries, maybe until now, that I'm at a legal age of drinking. I;m still not feeling better.
And a note to self, talking to Lionel at such times can actually be a new experience. Because he is such a kid, there is that innocence that I have long lost, but in him I can still find. It's kind of, refreshing I would call it, I guess.

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