why do i love you (like i do)

title:
date: Sunday, November 30, 2008
time:11/30/2008 01:05:00 AM

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

ooh it's somethin' about
Just somethin about the way she move
I cant figure it out
there's somethin about her

said ooh its somethin about
kinda woman that want you but dont need you
hey i cant figure it out
there's something about her

cause she walk like a boss
talk like a boss
manicured nails to set the pedicure off
shes fly effortlessly

and she move like a boss
do what a boss do
she got me thinkin about getting involved
thats the kinda girl i need oh

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
wont you come and spend a little time?

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
ooh the way we shine
miss independent yeah

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh

ooh there's somethin about
kinda woman that can do for herself
i look at her and it makes me proud
theres somethin about her

theres somethin oh so sexy about
kinda woman that dont even need my help
she said she got it she got it no doubt
there's something about her

cause she work like a boss play like a boss
car and a crib she bout to pay em both off
and her bills are paid on time

she made for a boss, only a boss
anything less she tellin them to get lost
thats the girl thats on my mind

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
wont you come and spend a little time?

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
ooh the way we shine
miss independent yeah

mmm her favorite thing to say
dont worry i got it
mmm and everything she got
best believe she bought it

mmm she gon' steal my heart
aint no doubt about it
girl you're everything i need
said you're everything i need

yeah yeah
yeah yeah, yeah yeah
yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
wont you come and spend a little time?

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
ooh the way we shine
miss independent yeah

miss independent
thats why i love her

Yeah, that's me, Miss Independent. I can handle my shits with a little help here and there.

a mistake/ top

title: add up my years!
date: Saturday, November 29, 2008
time:11/29/2008 03:35:00 AM

Damn it! I just realise something! Though I'm proud to say that my birthday was over a long time ago, I just realised that my next birthday is in like what, 5 months?! Holy cow! I feel old all of a sudden. And come to think of it, Ying Min's birthday is going to be just around the corner from now. Same to some other random little kids. I'm so going to get screwed by these people, seriously. I don't want to grow old! Yeah, it's like who doesn't grow old! But, Peter Pan doesn't, Tinkerbelle doesn't & The Lost Boys don't! What the heck?! I want to stay forever young, always and always.

But now, I shall be good and shut down the lappy and go sleep for I'm starting to feel light-headed already. I still think it's the water's fault. Over-cooling already! Pray I don't get diarrhoea please. I still need to work in the afternoon!

a mistake/ top

title: the 240th blogpost
date: Friday, November 28, 2008
time:11/28/2008 09:46:00 AM

Been a lazy bum a usual this morning. I actually woke up on time to my alarm alright. Apple crumble with ice-cream for breakfast is glee! Big thank you to Asyraf for the apple crumble! Felt really charged up for Dr. Choy's lesson but, as usual, I'm like lazing away, not listening to his lesture. Been missing lectures for the past few days already, due to certain reasons. Well, being the procrastinator, there's always next week for me to study. Yikes, I feel sore throat coming over to befriend me. I need green tea now!

Adds: Considering that I slept at 4am this morning, being able to wake up on time at 7am is a miracle. But, I don't do miracles and therefore it must have been my long sleeps on wednesday and thursday which helped!

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title: JOWELL CHEE ZHEN YANG (yangyang)'s QUIZZIE!
date:
time:11/28/2008 02:09:00 AM

1. Time of starting this?
2.26am

2. Are you named after anyone?
there's FINALLY someone who's named after me!!=D

3. Do you wish on stars?
I did, but..not like it's going to come true...

4. When did you last cry?
yingli don't cry...REMEMBER THAT.

5. What is your favourite meat?
fish&chips!porkchop!chickencutlet!lambstew~~

6. What is the most embarassing CD on your shelf?
my CDs ain't on shelves..the only ones that are on shelves, are in fact, EMPTY..

7. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
no idea...i'm kind of a difficult person you know..

8. Are you a daredevil?
nope, i'd rather be elecktra given the choice. AND,i want to know when i die.

9. How do you release anger?
yingli dont release anger...she barely feel any, how to release?

10. Where is your second home?
somwhere/anywhere/elsewhere in school.

11. Do you trust others easily?
trust only exist as far as when both parties are on the same boat, but even so, it's not fixed. but sadly, yes, there's still a naive part of me somewhere, somehow.

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?
my pillows. i cried when my mum threw one of them away=(

13. What subject in school do you think is totally useless?
BIF, INFO, MATHS, STATS, I&E, ISP, COMT, IAC, S&W, CATS....but, there was the fun=)

14. Do you use sarcasm alot?
knot exactly, since i dont feel angry at people and am actually too lazy to even talk most of the times.

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
not long ago. moshpits are like standard pathways in my life, always in&out.

16. Get asked anything ridiculous lately?
everybody seems to ask me obviously ridiculous qns...and that never fail to piss me off.

17. Would you bungee jump?
say, i'm afraid of heights?

18. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off?
nope..but somehow i still gotta tie them=/

19. What's your favourite ice cream flavour?
raspberryripple! and anything chocolate! mint is OUT of qns okay...

20. What are your favourite colours?
pink? orange? blue? i hate green. but then again, i dun do favourites. there's just no point.

21. What is your least favourite thing?
everything i do/did is love-hate.

22. What/Who do you miss most right now?
my pillow. haven't talk to her in ages.

23. What are you listening to right now?
a song. 给我一首歌的时间-周杰伦-魔杰座

24. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
nothing. i really dont like the waxy feeling.

25. What is the weather like right now?
i cant see the weather...

26. Last person you talked to on the phone?
no idea, dont want to go remember...my phonecalls always seems to have the same contents..

27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
depends on whatever occur within my sight at the first moment

28. How are you today?
i want to watch wildchild&thesecretlifeofbees&madagascar2&twilight!

29. Favourite Drink?
tea. greentea, blacktea, redtea, whitetea, lemontea!

30. Favourite alcoholic drink?
sweet cocktails, vodka, whitewine=)

31. Natural hair colour?
dark brown+brown..

32. Eye colour?
brown...i wonder which funny people have BLACK eyes=.=

33. Wear contacts?
wearing...i hope i dun forget to take them out=x

34. Siblings?
younger bro is sleeping next door...

35. Favourite months?
i dont do favourites...there really point...

36. Favourite food?
food with coconut milk really taste good, but i havent eaten them for looooong time

37. Favourite day of the year?
like i said, i dont do favourites..

38. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
i dont ask people out..more like others do...and DAMN!!i have a mosquitobite at my knee!!

39. Scary movies or happy endings?
din the scarymovies have happy endings?=.=

40. Summer or winter?
spring..

41. Do you regret ever breaking up with someone?
perhaps, maybe, but i won't know...and neither would you

42. What book/magazine are you reading?
new moon-stephenie meyer, book of luke-jenny o'connell, the harlequin-lauriel K. hamilton are just some of the books i need to read...

43. What's on your mouse pad?
i dont do mouse.

44. What did you watch on TV last night?
tv is like a technology from ten decades ago=/

45. Favourite smell?
my mum's clarins perfume, paris hilton's cancan perfume, moschino's oh de! moschino scent

46. Define friendship.
two parties standing in the same boat hoping to gain certain benefits from the other. im serious.

47. Which friend (s) is the closest to you?
my pillow. the queen.

48. What do you anticipate everyday?
to get screwed. and to see the work i need to do.

49. Any cravings for food now?
laksa, curry, nasilemak, this certain flavour of ice-cream from island creamery.

50. Who do you think is the hottest in our school?
definitely not mogigie...i think should be cyc...(inside joke between auntie enns, uncle darren&jonathanTAN!)

51. Favourite words you like to use?
haha! knn. baka.

52. Favourite number?
damn, i ate to repeat myself...refer above..

53. Who do you wanna hug right now?
my pillow. the queen. the dodo. the nana. the baka? the littlemiss. not you.

54. If love potions are effective, will you make someone love you using love potions?
no, i have the ability to make people around me fall in love with each other...there's no point..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Real Name> ying li
2. Nick Name> princess momo, momo, however-desmie-likes-to-call-me, alexis, noobielmf
3. Married> marital status still states single
4. Male or Female> feMALE
5. Highschool> commonwealth
6. College> ngeeann
7. Short or long hair> longer than short, shorter than long...around there...
8. Are you a health freak> yeps! definitely! you need to know what you eat in case you die.
9. Height> it should range from 153-158 now, i hope...
10. Do you have a crush on someone> perhaps, maybe, i don't know and so you wouldn't
11. Do you like yourself> maybe, you probably don't wanna know?
12. Piercings> 4
13. Righty, Lefty or Ambidextrous> right, im partial ambi too.
14. Surgery> i cant believe that i dont have any
15. piercing (s)>on the earS
16. person you see in the morning> the ceiling
17. person you heard this morning> the voice in my head saying that i should wake up already
18. Sport you joined> i dont do sports. <-okay, thats absolute bullcrap..badminton,tennis,track,hockey,tabletennis,rugby,captain'sball,i've done enough of them sports..

19. pet> bearS
20. vacation> im on one now i guess
21. concert> esCaparate, danzation, perhaps another xmas service if somebody invites me.
22. crush> oreo..like i mentioned,you wouldn't know if i dont
23. Eating> air
24. Drinking> still patiently waiting for dearMRLEONGwaiyeong please...
25. I'm about to> fall asleep doing this?
26. Want kids> reproduce is the IN thing eh?but i still want my little couple alrights...
27. Want to get married> obviously, unless i can pop kids out of nowhere!
28. Careers in mind> psychologist.
29. Lips or eyes> Eyeslipsface!
30. Hugs or kisses> hugs&kisses...XOXO
31. Shorter or taller> taller!
32. Romantic or spontaenous> spontaneous romance.
33. Sensitive or loud> loud sensitivity.
34. Trouble Maker or hesistant> hesitant trouble-maker.

HAVE YOU EVER
35. Kissed a stranger> nopes
36. Drank bubbles> bubbles contain air=.= try liquid soap instead.
37. Lost glasses/contacts> amazingly, not once!
38. Run away from home> nearly did, but....couldnt bear to..
39. Liked someone younger> sure..
40. Liked someone older> as usual..
41. Broken someone's heart> there's a reason why im a heartbreaker
42. Been arrested> always hoped to...
43. Cried when someone died> yingli dun cry..and cant esp when somebody dies.
44. Liked a friend> been the cases...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
45 Yourself> i can see/feel/hurt myself, so hell yeah!
46. Miralces> no, i rather not find miracles in my life..
47. Heaven> the vision is clouded
48. Santa Claus> actually,nobody ever told me about santa..
49. Angels> there never has been any around me..
50. God> the faith has faltered.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
51. Is there one person you want to be with right now?
obviously.

Seriously, I feel that the results of my quiz is terribly shocking. I mean, who on Earth would be so truthfully negative? And, there really should be a question stating the time when people finish the quiz. I took like one WHOLE hour just to do this thing, including blogging this tiny paragraph here can? Now, I miss my double chocolate cookies. How how how? How?

a mistake/ top

title: XMAS want list!
date: Tuesday, November 25, 2008
time:11/25/2008 02:25:00 AM

Like the title suggests, I find that it's time to do up a christmas want list. Not a bad idea to be a shopping list for the new year!

XAMS WANT LIST:
1: new 4th generation iPod Nano
2: iPod earphones
3: Stephenie Meyer's trilogy (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse & Breaking Dawn)
4: the bag that I've been eyeing on
5: 'The Secret Life of Bees' by Sue Monk Kidd
6: 10 promises to my dog dvd
7: a new teddy bear (i am perfectly s.e.r.i.o.u.s.)
8: THAT elmo
9: a new pair of BLACK shoes.
10: that whole series of books from www.simonsays.com/mtvbooks

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title: what does it look like to you?
date: Friday, November 21, 2008
time:11/21/2008 01:10:00 AM

I had done something crazy last friday. Go figure.

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cuz we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I, I.. I'm so sorry baby
But I, I.. I gotta pack up and leave
But I, I'll always remember how we came close
..to being how I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
I wanted you

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I did something crazy on Tuesday. Go guess.

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

I am going to do something crazy soon. Go anticipate.

Add-on: I wonder if I'm ready to go find my dear xxxxx. It's going to be hard. It's going to make me go against everybody. But, I guess, it is an urgent need now.

a mistake/ top

title: carry on anyway..
date: Thursday, November 20, 2008
time:11/20/2008 08:38:00 PM

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be Kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and
some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

______________________________________

Nearly cried out when my lecturer read it out just before she let us off from the last 'Introduction to Social Psychology' lesson. This poem by the late Mother Theresa really touched me deep down inside. I believe in the strength of my willpower, and therefore, I will stand.

a mistake/ top

title: ECK!
date: Sunday, November 16, 2008
time:11/16/2008 03:01:00 AM

235th post, and I'm going to blog about something that got on my nerves.

Arsenal 0-2 Aston Villa

Man. U. 5-0 Stoke C.

Arsenal 2-1 Man. U.

Like totally what in the heck! I can't believe that Arsenal lost to Aston Villa! I mean, Aston Villa is not too shabby but, to lose like that is really, cannot make it! And, Manchester United's win is kind of like a give away. Okay, I'm so going to get flamed by Man. U. fans all over when they google for Man. U. But, they actually won 5 goals, like absolutely what-the-heck! But, whatever!

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title: Like flowers, they never lasted
date: Friday, November 14, 2008
time:11/14/2008 01:08:00 AM

I just can't believe you're gone,
Still waiting for morning to come
Wanna see if the sun will rise
Even without you by my side
When we had so much in store
Tell me what is it I'm reaching for
When we're through building memories
I'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
They can take the music that we never play
All the broken dreams, take everything,
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday

You always choose to stay
I should be thankful for every day
Heaven knows what the future holds
Or at least how the story goes
I never believed until now
I know I'll see you again I'm sure
No it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
But they can't take yesterday

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
They can take the music that we'll never play
All the broken dreams, take everything,
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday

[Chorus]
I thought our days would last for ever
But it wasn't our destiny
'Cause in my mind we had so much time
But I was so wrong
No I can believe that
I can still find the strength in the moments we made
I'm looking back on yesterday

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
They can take the music that we never play
All the broken dreams, take everything,
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday
___________________________________________________

People come, and people go. Of the many people you walk past each day, there stand a tiny propotion who made their way into your heart, into your mind, onto your face. The pride of your life, the fun of the time, those laughters and what not. Friends walk away, friends stay behind. How many, of the numerous, do you wnat to hold on to forever, call them your true friends or best friends. Which ones do you consider as good friends whom you can open your heart to and have fun with, with absoulutely no worries?
I always wonder if people ever stop in their tracks of their lives to mourn over a lost friendship just as they do for anybody in the passing. I always wonder if people would look back on their lives and remininisce the times of joy which they no longer find in their lives. I always wonder many things. Of the good, the innocent, the great, the joy, the warmth.
I sometimes feel like I could almost understand how people feel, when they celebrate with their friends. But everytime I feel that I'm starting to understand the rationale of opening up to people, of trusting them, I'll just have to clamp up all over again. Just when I understood what having fun together, I lost sight of everything.
Why had I trusted that trust itself was for real? Why had I believed that belief is sacred? Why had I been promised when promises itself breaks easier than glass? Most of all, why did I defied all that I had known for some things which were merely hearsay?
Pieces of my heart went missing over the years becuase of my foolishness, yet I insisted on risking myself for the things that I wasn't supposed to believe in. This time, the pieces that dropped amounted to too much. Far too much to be the price of my foolishness, perhaps for the past many years.

Sera, I think this is my life. Joy and laughter are but memories treasured inside of me. As much as I wish, the present can never gift me what I hope for. I think it's time I give up. On wishing, on hoping, on praying, on believing, on trusting, on everything that everybody seems so comfortable doing. There is just that immensible gap that I fell into between us.

All the broken dreams, take everything,
Just take it away
They can never have yesterday

P.S.: I guess there is really nothing I can or want to do anymore. I've really lost faith this time.

a mistake/ top

title:
date: Friday, November 07, 2008
time:11/07/2008 01:44:00 AM

This week has been a total wreck. It started real badly, and seems to have become worse with each passing day. Thursday, is by far the best day of the week already, for it ended with only me not submitting my e-learning material on time. Not exactly looking forward to the later part of today as it might hold the biggest nerve-wrecking situation of the week as yet. I don't exactly have a good feeling about it.

I should probably find some crazy things to do so I wouldn't fret so much about the going-ons.

It's what you seems to be that counts,

not what you say or do.

It's always about perception,

and never about the truth.

Truths, are but lies, in their truest forms.

a mistake/ top

title: perhaps, it can end tonight?
date: Wednesday, November 05, 2008
time:11/05/2008 08:54:00 PM

Perhaps, I should return to the time when inter-personal relationships are but likened to business collaboration. It's so much easier to maintain, no strings attached only terms and conditions, plus, confirmed benefits.

Why did I bother to make myself believe in the good of people when I never believed "人之初，性本善". Underneath it all, humans never believed such of me. Things were so easy back then, no hard feelings for we know each other's cards were. Perhaps, it was just me who managed to sucessfully deceive myself that poly life wasn't as tough as what others say.

Maybe, tonight is the night when it all ends. When Ying Li tells herself that she has to be critical in her thinking. That she has to be stronger than she already is to face all the adversities. When the thinking has changed, what impact will it have, on the current platform of life, it matters no longer to her. It's like I've said, my heart has been broken too much that there's simply no point trying to fit everything back again.

Is it really me?

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cuz I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

Here I am with you
I'm there 'til the end
Memories are calling
So farewell my friend

a mistake/ top

title:
date:
time:11/05/2008 12:38:00 AM

You walked with me, footprints in the sand
And helped me understand where I’m going
You walked with me when I was all alone
With so much I no along the way
Then I heard you say

I promise you, I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you when you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life flash across the sky
So many times have I been so afraid
And just when I have thought I’ve lost my way
You give me strength to carry on
That’s when I heard you say

I promise you, I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you when you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

When I’m weary, well, I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you when you say

I promise you, I’m always there
When your heart is full of sadness and despair
I’ll carry you when you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

This is like the very song I wish to dedicate to somebody. This song, has made a great impact on me. I wonder....... Let's pray that things make a turn for the better.

a mistake/ top