As Fiona changed her blog address, I realised that I have not gone to YuYuan's blog for a long time. With that notion in mind, I made myself go visit his blog and tagged there, a first in a long time.

yingli: i just realise u just wrote my name for my link...=/
yingli: *hugs* jiaYOU!!!!=)
ME . yingli `: what is up man?
yingli: dun worry..im not gonna die or dissapear frm e face of this world lah..just realised tt i haven dropped by here e LONGEST time ever possible=(
yingli: hai~
ME . yingli `: how do you know? perhaps D-day is tomorrow?
yingli: if tml is d-day,then we r ALL gonna dissappear..not just mi..=)

And, I realised that, if I had walked a little faster home, not dilly-dally so much, managed my time better and such, I would have the time to visit everybody's blogs and know how they are doing. Because of YuYuan, I realised that friendship can really be that weak. I just haven't gone to his blog for perhaps, two months, and when I read his posts again, they seemed to show signs that he has grown, matured.

I'm once again brought back to my thoughts of D-day. What if tomorrow a perosn close to me is gone, what would I do? What would happen to me? If the next day is D-day, I wonder what's the last thing on everybody's mind.

But for me, maybe I don't have to wait till D-day. Maybe by the end of the year, I would have forgotten about my past almost completely. My memory seems to be deteriorating at an alarming rate. I can no longer differentiate left and right properly anymore. Therefore, I have an urge. An urge to do my ILUs right now, for everybody I loved and hold dearly to. For those who had been by my side for all these times.

I was realised that I haven't forgotten what Woei Tang once said about a year ago. "When you're in your teens, you see your elders dying. However, when you're 20, it's your friends and those around you passing on." It does sound morbid, but true. True enough that it strikes that bit of fear in me as I realised that I put on another eatra year, inching yet another step closer to the dreaded 20. Will I live to the people around me for another time, or is there simply not enough time? That's a dangerous unknown, a paradox between wanting somebody to tell me and yet afraid to find out.






I wonder, what's the value of evaluation on this world.

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