Went to the salon for the second day running to get my highlights. And no, I don't think I look like any ah lian. The look I went for was subtle and natural okay?! My hair had a nice smell on Tuesday after the haircut due to some spray product on my hair. It had another nice smell just now after the highlight because of the pigment. It had another nice smell after the evening's hairstyling event, from the shampoo and conditioner, the smell which my hair's holding on to. Going down again later for Jyan's haircut. A record of going back to the same salon three days running.




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I'm not strong, period. And, I agree with Shipei. That's the norm anyway. Nothing special. There better not be. This is like the worst period of my life, absolutely!

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I am afraid. It's so sudden that I duno what to do about it either. Perhaps it's just that I didn't foresee this coming. But, after trying to distract myself with all of these matters, I realise that I'm still afraid. Even more so than before.





P.S.:我要我的冰皮月饼!!!

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我有一个不能说的秘密。
一个不能让别人知道的秘密。
无论如何都不可以说出去。
因为就算说了也对每个人都没有好处。
所以就让这个秘密随我而去吧！
至少我知道在我心里深处隐藏着一个属于我自己的东西。
曾经拥有总好过完全没有。

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THIS IS FOR CHARMAINE!!

Answer the following questions.
1.(the person who tag you is ...) my daddy!!!hah!
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...) DADDY of coz!!
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) in brissy; 慈祥; nice!; i duno liao leh..=(
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you) tag me?and went to ABE's bdae celeb!
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you) of coz i will come back soon, how can leave the daughter here(haha!!i rmb!!=D)
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..) daddy!!DADDY!!daddy!!
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) lemmi think..
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...) keep calling her daddy!hah!!!
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...) she nvr come back during dec!!=/
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...) jiayou for her studies!!
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...) like to surprise people (*nods*)

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For the past five hours, I've been living in surreal. I have absolutely no idea whether I'm dreaming or what. I do seem to have a sense that all these are real but at the same time, it seems so unreal. My mind still hasn't recover. It's still in the blank-out state it has been since five hours ago. I simply don't feel like talking to anybody. Well, other than my Nana, whom I'm already talking to. She can really make me smile. Like what she say, I shouldn't let anything affect me, must focus. But it's hard, and she knows too. I love you Nana. Let's be strong together. Even if they all get together here and there, you know I'm here, and I know you're there.

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Rain and tears are the same
But in the sun you've got
To play the game
When you cry in winter time
You can pretend
It's nothing but the rain

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I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you and I'm wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they
Keep runnin' down my face
Why did you turn away

[Interlude]
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
(crazy)
How can you walk away
(When)
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me
You're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying

Baby why can't we just, just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance
I can love you right
But you're telling me it won't be enough

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

[Interlude]
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me
But I know it's a lie
What you're keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do

[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
I'll be waiting

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THIS IS FOR DARREN

Answer the following questions.
1.(the person who tag you is ...) darren duh!
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...) friend/senior/UNCLE!
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) quiet; emo; keep to himself; not meticulous; likes donuts!
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you) queue for donuts with me! erms..and bringing me to the doc.
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you) i think quite alot=.=
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..) hmms..i nvr think=.=
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) dun emo!
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...) dump all kinds of food on him bah..
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...) he steal my food=/
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...) go study?
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...) OLD!abit naggy.like to eat donuts!

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seventeen years, three months, two weeks, two days and counting. I will hold on. I have to. I need to, I think. At least I hope I do.

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THIS IS FOR DONALD

Answer the following questions.

1.(the person who tag you is ...) donald!!!
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...) friend(if he tolerate my stubborn-ness n compromise with my nosey-ness)/senior!(old liao..hoho!!)
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) skinny,dunlike people to know what he thinks,nice,funny,piggy!
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you) agree to going to cbio extra lesson with me=)
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you) nehneh!!(got influenced by me you see)
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..) feel guilty?feel happy?feel sad?(how would i know lah!?haiyo! =.=)
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) DONT ever hide things from me!
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...) plcuk out the strings of his laopo!
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...) he dao-ed me?=.=
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...) go sleep..
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...) old.fair.sometimes baka.yah.

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THIS IS FOR FONG ENG

Answer the following questions.

1.(the person who tag you is ...) fong eng
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...) friend/classmate!
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) cool,fun,funny,damn nice to hang out with,super smart!
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you) sat with outside the tutorial room and stone and listen to my crap=)
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you) the things she curses people with(they are damndamndamndamn CLASSIC!)
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..) that is damn difficult manz!
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) dont be more evil than me?hahahahahahha!!!
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...) exchange my results with hers?
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...) no idea=.=
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...) go out with her!!
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...) smart and caring=)

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This is for JEHANNE

Answer the following questions.

1.(the person who tag you is ...) Jehanne
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...) friend n fellow GL!!
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) fun,caring,sweet,blur,cute!haha!!
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you) encouraged me and convincing me that she will be there=)
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you) i dun remember exact words=( but i know she told she loved me!!!=D
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..) do i really have to les with her?hmm..
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) dun compromise with me to much?=/
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...) let her win!haha!=D love her too much already
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...) over who love who more?(im serious)
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...) take photos many many!!!
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...) my reliable friend!!=D

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Okay, I haven't blogged in the longest time. It's a high time I start now. But, don't mind my point forms yeah?

THURSDAY

• skipped lecture and went straight to KAP to celebrate Rach's birthday!
• went to vivocity with Sein Yan, Jia Hao and Darren(sorry to make you wait!)
• ate at Uzumaki ice-cream and Sushi Tei stuffs
• walked one big round around vivo because Jia Hao didn't want to have Sushi Tei
• scared the daylights out of Jia Hao(I hope)
• arranged with Sein Yan to go for gym orietation the next day

FRIDAY

• went back to school to wait for Sein Yan
• got scolded by mummy because I didn't take medicine
• got scolded again because alot of other stuffs
• gym orientation was rather amusing(I don't know why!!)
• went to marina kbox(was late again.sorry mel&kel!!)
• sang chinese, english, japanese and malay songs!(multi-racial me)
• the kbox people chased us out because we simply refuse to go
• went to Macdonalds' to have dinner
• chatted at Macdonalds'(sorry to mel because we were discussing our stuffs)

Monday

• skipped another lecture to go down to Funan to get my lappie serviced(again!)

Tuesday

• went to vivo after school to get donuts(it was one and a half dozen for me!)

Wednesday

• skipped lecture to go Jurong East sports Complex
• celebrated National Day with CSS
• played with the balloon Carol gave with Jun and Shipei(volleyball 2v1)
• ate a few custard puffs at the VIP reception(I'm a parent okay!)
• went to tutorial late because we played too much
• was even later for tutorial because I forgot about my balloon(booboo~!!)
• mr mak gave me extra lessons(because my bio was seriously lacking lah!ergh)
• skipped my other lectures also to meet Yen Ling and Fiona
• called them, to find out they pang sei-ed me!(WTH!!!)
• went down to Funan to collect my lappie anyway(like finally)

In short, I skipped all the lectures I have this week! Donald and Mummy are so going to kill me.

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List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:

ONE- a room filled with balloons and plushies!
TWO- a bouquet of WHITE lilies!!=D
THREE- DONT need to re-take sem!
FOUR- another lappie=.=
FIVE- power to turn back time..

Answer the following questions.

1.(the person who tag you is ...) AISYAH!
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...) friend/classmate/campmate..anymore?GL!!
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) 1.tall 2.CRAZY!! 3.loud 4.hyper 5.games!!=D
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you) errr...hmm...yah!
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you) funny ar!!
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..) kill her
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) the determination to kill herself=/
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...) challenge her to games?=.= HAHA!!!
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...) she's too good at games?=/
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...) study?or maybe watch fireworks first..haha!
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...) hmm..always play wierdwierd games de..
12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?) diao-ed. I mean seriously, i get diao-ed by myself at times too..hai~
13.(the character you love of yourself are ...) fun-loving?hehe..=D
14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...) huge mood swings.ergh!
15.(the most ideal person you want to be is ...) myself!=D okay..that sounded so ego=/
16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..) ermm..dont worry?=)
17.(pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. alvin
2. donald
3. seraphina
4. jyan
5. shujun
6. shipei
7. fiona
8. darren
9. jelin
10. aisyah

11.(who is no.6 having relationship with?) try me?=p
12.(Is no.9 a male or female?) maybe you should try asking her instead..
13.(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) they dont even know each other can?!
14.(How about no.8 and 5?) im hoping they would NEVER meet each other?i would be so caught in the middle lah!!they are both so RANDOM!!
15.(What is no.2 studying about?) the very thing i will get next year.ERGH!
16.(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) say, just?tsktsk...
17.(What kind of music band does no.8 like?) not sure?i dont exactly go peer into others' music collection you know..BUT I KNOW HE HAS MILUBING'S SONGS!!!wahahahaha!!!
18.(Does no.1 has any siblings?) ELDER sister!!!
19.(Will you woo no.3?) she will either have me beheaded or torn by TEN horses first..that's if I havent succeeded in killing myself before that..
20.(How about no.7?) same as previous=/
21.(Is no.4 single?) YAH!but im betting that it WUN be long before she's not!!!=p
22.(What's the surname of no.5?) TAN!she just reminded me yesterday can?!
23.(What's the hobby of no.4?) inline skating?talking to so-and-so..=p HAHA!!
24.(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) sadly they DONT know each other..
25.(Where is no.2 studying at?) with me, i mean in the same faculty=.= heehee!=D
26.(Talk something casually about no.1) MUMMY!!!=D
27.(Have you try developing feelings for no.8?) madcase!no lah!!=.=
28.(Where does no.9 live at?) i manage to remember she mentioned DOVER!!!=D im sooooo proud of myself!
29.(What color does no.4 like?) PURPLE and BLUE!!that i remembered too!!=p
30.(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) once again, i must mention that they DONT know each other
31.(Does no.7 likes no.2?) she did mention that he wasnt too bad-looking..HAHA!!i manage to retain that piece of memory too=)
32.(How do you get to know no.2?) no.1
33.(Does no.1 have any pets?) no..i checked=/
34.(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) NO!!!!!!she didnt say she is/was anyway!haha!

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I fell from the stairs
1 person didnt care
i went home on my own
my back hurts
it hit the steps 3 times
i wonder what will happen tomorrow
i so want to quit
but, im the only 1 from my group
i cant possibly dissapoint all of them right?
but, they dont even care
they dont even want to
what does that make me?

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