why do i love you (like i do)

title: who says a heartbreaker won't get her heart broken?
date: Tuesday, January 13, 2009
time:1/13/2009 03:02:00 AM

人最害怕的不是爱错而是信错

How true. Trust is like the foundation of all human. Yet, it seems non-existant in my life. Life is judged by past experiences. Who is to deem another wrong? How is it that we can put our past experiences past us and start anew, fresh and forgiving.

I lack trust.
I lack emotions.
I lack needs.
I lack you.

My six long days have finally come to an end. Not without a significantly memorable end. I bet I will still remember it when the time ends, a night of bright round moon, with dark winds streaking my face. All of a sudden, I feel the full amount of weakness that you see in me. I long not to be strong anymore. I wish to drop myself off into a set of open arms.

Tell me you'll be there and I'll believe
Tell me you're safe and I'll believe
Tell me you're with me and I'll believe

Why is it that I trust you so easily though time and time again it's like smashing my face on the ground and waking up with realisation that there was nothing there the whole time? It's tough, and I really don't wish to follow through. I feel like everything is boycotting me. It's not easy to carry on, and my strength is lacking for ever more.
_________________________________________________________

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
It's drowning into whispers
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
No matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
I wish I could save you
_______________________________________________

How do you know if your life was meant for you?
How can you believe in a future that is forever changing?
How would you deal with problems you never knew existed?
How should you do anything that you never knew?
I think I need the right treatment now. And I know perfectly where and how to do that. My life ought not cause me so much pain and suffering the last time I took a peek inwards. But, suddenly, it all seems serene and peaceful, like something has soothed everything.

Can I handle the serenity of peace.
Can I deal with the deafening quiet.
I think I need myself.
So will you please give me back?
Even a heartbreaker can get her heart broken.

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