I just realised. My blog had past its first year with ALOT of ups and downs. And I really do mean alot.

Apr2006:
I started a new blog with a fresh mind, hoping to shed some of my troubles online. A few posts of what I felt attracted a colony of ants wierd people here. My blog saw one of its most glorious times then, I must say. Now that I re-read those posts, I feel myself not remembering the things they said and felt amused at my own replies. I fear this shows how insignificant they were, but nonetheless, they were still the people who saw me through possibly the worst days of my life.

May2006:
I got tired of those puny humans and laid my pen to rest, occasionally pasting the lyrics of songs which caught my attention.

June2006:
I wasn't really at home most of the time. Mind was on my kids. Can't blame me, I just love them, they made my day so super bright and cheery. Even though I still have that cough, phelgm from then. Don't know how to get rid of that you see.

July2006:
Quite a month for graditude. Tears were what pushes me on most of the times. The heartaches, heart breaks, I guess it does feel good to let yourself loose sometimes. The times of the long posts, where I really feel glad that there are people on this side of the Earth that cared for me.

August2006:
Guess the aftermath was stil lingering in the air, simply refusing to leave. The thoughts of verything being my fault came back, however, I also learnt that not everything is entirely my fault. That was probably the most confusing part of my life as I struggled to make sense of what I was actually doing.

Sept2006:
Still missing AKLTG, but was getting better at re-organising myself. Felt the pressure of the future finally, but din't want to move. Probably because I didn't want to let go and forgive and forget. Still, I continue on my way.

Oct2006:
Still having long posts of how I felt. Putting things down finally after three months? Definitely not jsut yet. Holding on seemed pointless but not holding on seemed life-threatening. I admit I was still feeling pretty lost back then.

Nov2006:
I absoulutely can't believe there's only two posts there! Mut have been too lazy to post. Or rather, felt that even posting it on blogger didn't and wouldn't help things.

Dec2006:
Ok, what's with that single post in the entire month? No wonder Yenlin complained. Now I realise. I'm not addicted to blogging, but I'm wouldn't leave it there to rot like that. Not after so much things have happened.

Jan2007:
The strawberries times! Finally am out of that mostly depressed state of mind. new year new beginning. Can I really let go? Not sure, wouldn't know if I don't try right?

Feb2007:
The beginnings of the short posts period, probably. Now that I'm doing some recollections, I suddenly have the urge to see how those people are surviving, you know, those from back then. Can't help being curious.

Mar2007:
Reading my posts all over again, I realised that I haven't exactly let go yet. but I was really into knowing my friends all over again and knowing them better. Didn't understand what was doing either. Tough times? Both right and wrong.

Apr2007:
I don't seemed all that emo already right? I'm not depressed, who said I was? Good gracious, all these recollections make me feel hungry.

I'm going to have my lunch. Ciao.

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