I hate crying, especially crying myself to sleep. It reminds me of the days when I was young and did that everyday. The days when I feel alone, helpless. It reminds me of everything that I was afriad would happen. Worse, it reminds me that I knew all these would happen. Crying was the only way I could stay sane. It was my only way out since I couldn't fall into self-denying state. Not that I would want to.

Today, I baked cookies. First time going into the kitchen and producing something which was not instant food. There was this jar of cookies which I specially put in a whole lot of non-chocolate cookies even though there was obviously more double chocolate ones. I always hated the fact that no matter what good things happen to me, there would ALWAYS be something bad that goes with it. Always.

I already knew the answer to Nicole's question the other time. Now? I'm perfectly sure of it.

a mistake/ top